Fitness Regime

I hate exercise.

Let me just go on the record.

I hate it.

I am not coordinated, at all. I enjoy sports, at the stadium, on tv or when my kids are playing. I like hot dogs at Met games, chili while watching football games (from the comfort of my home), hot coffee on soccer mornings, popcorn at basketball games and lattes in the dojo.

You sensing a theme about the extent of my involvement in sports?

If you need someone to bring the Chex mix to your superbowl party, I’m your girl. If you need someone to train with you for a 5K run you should move on to another friend. I’m not going to be of any assistance.

Now, that being said. I’ve started exercising five times a week.  Over the past year there has been a gradual phenomenom in my closet.  All of the clothes are shrinking. I found this a shocking betrayal of the clothing I purchased, brought home and treated well. I’ve washed and ironed, folded and hung, taken them to all manner of events and this is the thanks I get. They start getting snug. Close. TIGHT.

Who am I kidding?  I’ve gained (uhum) some weight. 

I have a few issues with diets too. Suffice to say the best way for me to lose weight is a low-carb, high protein approach. You see a lot of my weight comes from the bread, potato, pasta category. Chocolate had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Shut up.

Back in September a neighbor friend of mine told me her friend was a fitness trainer and was starting a women’s boot camp on Saturday mornings for one hour.  I explained that Saturday mornings is when I drink coffee and eat muffins.  In a leisurely manner.  Later that day I stood in front of the mirror. Sideways. Profile.

I called and signed up.

That first Sunday I was unable to move any part of my body without whimpering. The neighbor friend called to check on me and advised cardio to stretch and help with the soreness. I advised her to go to H E double hockey sticks. This went completely against my plan of a hot bath and a large scotch.  However I felt I should give this a chance so I sent Dave to the park with the kids and I walked the mile there to meet them. I pushed the kids on swings and chased them around. Then I walked a mile home.

I did feel better but it annoyed me that there might be something to this.

The bootcamp went on until December when it became too frigidly cold and windy to work out at the beach. Sometime in November I asked the trainer if she could find it in her heart to work-out with me, in my time frame. 5:15 a.m. She agreed and since then every Thursday has seen me getting up at 4:40 a.m., driving over to the next town and working out with the this lady who pushes me till I want to die.

Once a week wasn’t going to cut it. So on Fitness Trainer’s (FT) recommendation I purchased The Firm DVD and weight set. Don’t let the incredibly irritating voice-over on the website turn you off. It is a really good overall fitness regime that is geared for beginners to the more advanced exerciser.

I still wasn’t really dieting (my birthday, my anniversary, Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas…you get it)  but my clothes started to fit a bit better.  The diet started in earnest on the 2nd ( I hate being such a cliche) and I’ve dropped some weight right off the bat.

If you think I’m getting into numbers you are nuts.

So here’s the schedule

Monday:   The Firm: Cardio Blast 25 minutes
               10 push-ups (not girl push-ups I’m actually doing the real ones now)

Tuesday:   The Firm: High Def Sculp (I use dumbells and work all the major muscle groups)
               10 push-ups

Wednesday: Walk around the block a few times (depends on what kind of day I’m having)

Thursday: Work out with FT for 45 minutes and spend the rest of the day whining about it.

Friday: The Firm: Hard Core Fusion for 45 minutes. This kills me.

Saturday: The Firm: Cardio Party. This is 45 minutes. I never make it, not because it’s too hard fitness-wise but because it gets into salsa dancing and some other kind of dancing and my hips don’t do that. I end up laughing my head off at some of the moves they want me to do. It’s not effective. So I do push-ups and cruches when the disco-ing starts.

Sunday: I rest.

This is the ideal. It doesn’t happen every week. I live in the real world with teething babies, stomach viruses, late nights and other facts of life with children. I’ve also decided I need to do some more of the strengthening excerises FT does with me, toward that end I ordered a Dyna Band, an exercise ball and resistance tubes. None of it was expensive.

I record what I do on a fitness log and it stays in my planner. This makes me happy. The longer the list, the more I’m doing. I have a list kind of mentality. I like that it’s getting longer everyday.

I still hate exercise.