Dear Virgina State Trooper:

I know that when you pulled me over yesterday in the wee small hours of the morning you were just doing your job. You explained that there was a speed enforcement day on I95 and that it was his job to stop all those who were speeding.  I understand.  Your job is difficult and dangeous and you have my sincere appreciation.  That being said….

I think you’re mean.

I left New York at midnight with seven children. The idea was that they would sleep until their normal time thus shortening the intermitable drive for themselves. Their idea was to remain wide awake and point out every single fast food restaurant we passed.  All of them.

Did you know, Mr. State Trooper, that it really is darkest before dawn? That is not just some poetic saying. It really is.  Did you know that the first morning of Daylight Savings time it doesn’t get light until 7:00 a.m. ?  Did you know how very tired I was when you pulled me over a mere 20 minutes later.  Did you know I was hoping you would arrest me and bring me to a nice quiet cell?  Of course you didn’t.

The first rays of light had just shined over the horizion and I instantly felt better. I felt like I could do this and drive for another 11 hours. I was optimistic and asking the children where they would like to eat breakfast.  I began to, in a very homeschool mama way, point out cloud formation and ask questions about sunrise and they light shining down.  I was happy about our trip and looking forward to what the day would bring.

Then you pointed that ray gun at me.  I saw you do it and knew what was coming next. I immediately pulled over and greeted you politely. I know how hard you work.

Yes, I was speeding, but even by your own admission it was only a little bit. Telling me that for that day only the fines on I95 were doubled did not help at all. Shining the flashlight on the children to check thir car seats was not helpful either. They thought they were in trouble.  Waking up the only two that were sleeping?  Well, I’m sure there will be a divine punishment for you for that one. I hope it involves being locked in a van with two whining nineteen month old babies. For six months.

I explained that mommy broke a rule and that the good officer was pointing it out to me. When he handed me my summons I showed the children that even mommies have punishments when they break rules.

So for the next 11 or so hours, Mr. State Trooper my children assiduously pointed out every, single trooper they saw.  It didn’t make my day any quicker, let me tell you, you guys were swarming like roaches in every state we drove through.

So in conclusion Mr. State Trooper I just want you to know that while I deserve the ticket I think pulling me over was like pulling over your mom. My clog wearing, denim skirt, Catholic homeschooling self was hurt. I am not a bad girl, I follow the rules. I was just tired and anxious and eager to reach the end of the journey.

Now can we talk about those fines????

Sincerely,

Mary Ellen